Tuesday 24 January 2012

Does he have to tell his second wife that he is married?

I married a foreign woman after she became Muslim in a shar‘i marriage in accordance with the laws of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, and I concealed from her the fact that I was married before. Is my marriage legitimate or do I have to tell her that I am married and that she is the second wife? Please note that I concealed this matter from her because the country in which we live does not allow plural marriage.

Praise be to Allaah.
It is not obligatory for the husband to tell the second wife that he is already married and this does not affect the validity of his marriage to her. So long as the marriage contract fulfilled the necessary requirements and conditions, then it is valid. 
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah preserve him) was asked: Is it essential for the marriage to be valid that a man should inform the woman he wants to marry that he is married to another one, if he is not asked about that? Are there any consequences if he denies it if he is asked? 
He replied: The man is not obliged to tell the woman or her family that he is married if they do not ask him, but that cannot usually be hidden because marriage is not usually done except after a period of enquiring and asking about each of the two partners and verifying that they are suitable. But it is not permissible to conceal any facts, and if either party tells a lie and the other party acts on the basis of it, then there is the option of cancelling it. If he says that he is not married and is lying about that, then the woman has the option of annulling the marriage. If they say that she was a virgin when she is not, then he has the option of going ahead with the marriage or cancelling it.

He married her without the knowledge of his first wife, then his secret was found out, and he is still not giving her her rights with regard to his staying overnight with her

I got married four years ago to a man who was already married and had a daughter. He told me that it would remain a secret to his wife and father, until they found out from people and not from him, and I agreed to that. From the day we married, he has not slept at my house except for one week, on the basis that he was travelling. After that he has not slept in my house and I have been living on my own, and he comes every day. I got pregnant from him and gave birth to a daughter, who is now two years old. Until today he has not registered her in his name, for fear that his wife will find out. I have been patient all this time and have said it doesn't matter, because frankly my husband is a man like no other and he loves me, but after 3 1/2 years his wife and his father found out, and she asked him to divorce me, but he refused to divorce me or to divorce her. But until now he is not treating us fairly, and he has never stayed the night with me and my daughter, and he has not registered his daughter in his name, and I do not know why. Even on Fridays it was hard for him to come and visit us; even when my daughter was sick at night, I could not tell him and I was always the one who took her to the hospital. I do not know what I should do. By Allaah, I always ask Allaah to give me patience because I have suffered all these years and I do not know for how long. Please note that my husband fears Allaah and does not miss a prayer, and he always does good. Every time I argue with him he tells me: “Everything in its own good time; you have been very patient, can't you be patient for longer?” 
I hope that you can help me because in fact I am not able to put up with this injustice any more.

Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: 
When a husband conceals his second marriage, in most cases that leads to some kind of injustice for his new wife, as he will be confused and uncertain and will be afraid that he may do something that would lead to his first wife finding out that he has taken a second wife. This may lead him into a series of mistakes. 
As you agreed to that at first, then you have to put up with what happens to you in some ways and you have to try to set things straight in other ways. 
If your husband had an excuse -- in your view -- before his marriage to you was discovered, then he has no excuse now. What he has to do is to teach you and his first wife fairly with regard to spending the night. However many nights he spends there, he has to spend the same number of nights with you, and you have the right to demand this right which Allaah has obliged him to give and that Allaah has given to you. If he persists in refusing, then you have the choice: either you can accept your life with him and put up with it until Allaah grants you relief -- which is what we recommend -- or you can choose to leave him. 
As the matter has been discovered, we advise you to appoint as an intermediary someone who has knowledge and is of good character, who can intervene between you to resolve your problem with him and make him do that which Allaah has obliged him to do of treating you and his first wife fairly, and registering your daughter officially. This is something that is essential. How can he accept for his daughter to remain like that, with no recorded lineage and with her rights exposed to loss? 
Now the matter is up to you. Advise him and remind him of Allaah, and if he does not respond, then appoint as intermediaries wise people from among your family, or from among your family and his, to advise him and make him adhere to that which Allaah has enjoined upon him of treating his wives fairly and registering his daughter in the official records. 
Ask Allaah to help and guide you and him. We ask Allaah to bring you together on the basis of good and to make it easy for you to do that which pleases Him. 
And Allaah knows best.

He stipulated that she should look after his father, then he took a second wife and she asked him for separate accommodation and to divide the work with her co-wife

The questioner got married to a woman after explaining to her his father's situation, as his father is sick and needs someone to take care of him. She agreed to that, but now he wants to marry a second wife, but the first wife said: If you take a second wife, then it is my right to ask for separate accommodation and to share the care of your father between us (wives). What is your opinion on that? The questioner is saying: How can she request this when it was stipulated from the beginning that she should take care of his father; in fact he only married her for this purpose and no other?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Allah has enjoined fulfilment of covenants and promises. He says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations” [al-Maa’idah 5:1]. The most important covenant that is to be fulfilled is the marriage contract, whether by the husband or by the wife. It was narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2572) and Muslim (1418). 
Based on that, what is required from the wife is to fulfil the condition that her husband stipulated, which is to serve and take care of his father. It seems to us that the wife has no right to ask him to divide this work between her and her co-wife, because that was not stipulated in the marriage contract; furthermore, she knows that Allah has permitted him to marry another woman, and she did not stipulate that he should not take another wife. 
As for her request for separate accommodation, she has the right to that unless it was stipulated before marriage that she should take care of his father in his house and that she would not have accommodation separate from his father. In that case, she is obliged to adhere to the two conditions regarding accommodation and taking care of the father, and she does not have the right to ask for separate accommodation or for the work to be divided between her and her co-wife, unless the husband doest hat on his own initiative. 
If the wife cannot put up with her new situation, then she has the right to ask for khula’ (a type of divorce), in which she will give up her mahr to her husband and he will divorce her (talaaq). 
For more details on khula’, see the answer to question number 26247
We advise the husband to be wise in his conduct and to fear Allah with regard to his first wife; she has accepted him as a husband and has agreed to serve his sick father. It is not right to respond to that by bringing in a co-wife who will not share the work with her and will have advantages over her which will cause him distress in his life and cause him trouble. 
We are not trying to forbid that which Allah has permitted of plural marriage; but we are aware that part of good attitude on the man’s part is responding in kind to the one who has been kind to him in word and in deed. We do not think that the husband’s insisting on not making his second wife share the work of caring for his father is a good way of responding to his first wife’s good conduct. He should stipulate for the second wife what he stipulated for the first; that is what is fair and wise. 
Whatever the case: 
We think that this wife should adhere to the conditions of marriage that were stipulated for her, but she has the right to ask for khula’ if she fears that she will not be able to fulfil the conditions or fulfil her duties towards her husband. But we think that the husband should do the right thing to get out of this situation, which is stipulating for the second wife what he stipulated for the first of caring for his father. If the marriage contract has been done without that, then he has to deal with her kindly and ask her to serve his father and look after him, working with his first wife. 
And Allah knows best.

He is away from his country and his wife and he wants to take a second wife

I work in Saudi Arabia,Ive been married for ten years but no children. I cannot afford to bring my wife here,If i take a second wife who is working here in Saudia will i be doing injustice to my first wife? since i'll be going for vacation every two years.

Praise be to Allaah.
There is nothing wrong with a man taking a second wife if he is financially and physically able for that. But before you go ahead with this marriage, it is essential for you to note the following:
1.
It is not permissible for a man to be away from his wife for more than four months except with her permission; and if she does not give permission then he must bring her to join him or go back to her. 
It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (19/469): The period during which it is permissible to be away from the wife is four months; this is known as the eela’ period. Staying away for longer than that is haraam, unless it is done with her consent. End quote. 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: Part of kind treatment is for him not to be away from his wife for a long time, because it is her right to enjoy intimacy with her husband as it is his right to enjoy intimacy with her. But if she agrees to his absence, even for a long time, then she has the right to do so and there is no blame on the husband. But that is on condition that he leaves her in a safe place where there is no fear for her. End quote. Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb, 10/307 
See also the answer to question no. 102311
2.
One of the conditions of its being permissible to take a second wife is fair treatment of both wives, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one”
[al-Nisa’ 4:3].  
What is meant by fairness or justice here is treating them equally in terms of spending, clothing, accommodation and other material matters. How are you going to achieve fairness between the two wives when one of them will be living with you all the time and you will not see the other one except every two years for a short time? 
Unless your first wife agrees and gives up her rights to time with you during this lengthy period. 
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If he has two wives in two different countries, then he must treat them fairly, because he has chosen to keep them far apart from one another, but their rights are not waived as a result of that. He must either go to the one that is far away on the day that is hers, or bring her, or bring both of them to live in one city. 
If she refuses to come even though she is able to, then she forfeits her rights because of her defiance (nushooz). 
If he decides to divide his time between both of them in their own cities or countries, and it is not possible to divide his time between them night by night, then he should make the period spent with each one of them according to what is possible, such as one month with one and one month with the other, or more or less than that, according to what he is able to do and depending on how near or far the two cities are from one another. 
End quote from al-Mughni (8/152) 
See also the answers to questions no. 49044 and 98388 
To sum up: it is permissible for you to take a second wife if your first wife agrees to you being away from her for a long time and she waives her rights to time with you during this period. But if she does not agree, then you do not have the right to go ahead with this marriage because you are not able to treat both wives fairly and justly. 
What you should do is strive hard to bring your wife to join you. If you can do that and then after that you want to take a second wife, then there is nothing wrong with it. 
And Allah knows best.

If a man is absent on the night of one of his wives with or without an excuse, he has to come back and make up that night

My husband travelled before the end of his three nights in my house (as we both agreed). Does he have to come back as soon as he returns to complete the remaining two nights, or can he choose where he wants to stay for the next three?.

Praise be to Allaah.
If the husband divides his time between his wives, spending one night or two nights or three nights with each in turn, then it is the right of each of his wives that he should stay overnight with her on the nights that are allocated to her, because she is entitled to that. If circumstances dictate that he should be absent on the night of one of his wives completely or for a long time, such as if he is imprisoned or is travelling or is getting married, then the right of the wife whose turn it was is not waived; rather when he comes out of prison or returns from his travel or the time allocated to the new wife ends, he has to go back to the wife whose turn it was and stay overnight with her, or complete what is left of her night. This is what is required to be just and fair. 
Al-Shaafa‘i (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If he allocated time to a wife then he went away then he returned, he should start dividing his time with the one whose turn comes next. 
Similarly, if he is not travelling but he is distracted from staying overnight with her, he should resume dividing his time as if he had returned from being away, so he should start with the one whose turn it was. 
And he said: 
If he was with her for part of the night, then he went away then he came back, he should start by making up to her what is left of the night, then he should go to the one whose turn comes next at the end of the night, so that he is being fair to them with regard to dividing his time. 
Al-Umm (5/281). 
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
If he leaves one of his wives during her time, if that is during the day or at the beginning or end of the night, when it is customary to leave the home and go out to pray, that is permissible, because the Muslims go out to pray ‘Isha’ and Fajr before dawn breaks, and with regard to the day, it is the time when people go out and about to earn a living. 
But if he goes out at some other time and comes back quickly, he does not have to make it up for her, because there is no benefit in making that up. But if he stays out for a long time, he should make it up to her, whether his staying out was for an excuse such as work or being detained, or there was no excuse, because her rights were denied by his being away from her. And if he wants to make up for that by staying away from the other wife for as long as he stayed away from this one, that is permissible, because equal treatment is attained by doing that, and because it is permissible for him to stay away for a full night if he does the same to each of his wives; so by analogy it is also acceptable with regard to part of the night. 
Al-Mughni, 8/145 
Another issue with regard to the rights of the wife over the husband, which supports what is mentioned above, is that if the husband wants to travel and draws lots between his wives, and one wife’s name is drawn, then she still has the right to her night after he comes back from his journey, and the fact that he took her with him on his journey does not mean that her right to her night or nights is waived. 
Shaykh al-Khateeb al-Sharbeeni al-Shaafa‘i (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
Al-Bulqayni said: If the name of the one whose turn it is is drawn, her turn is not included in the period of travel; rather, when he returns, he should still give her her right to a share of his time. In the text of al-Umm there is that which confirms this. 
Mughni al-Muhtaaj, 3/258 
Shaykh Mansoor al-Bahooti al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
The husband should still allocate the rightful share of his time to the one he takes with him after choosing her by drawing lots, when he returns from his journey and he should not regard the time spent travelling as part of her share of his time, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah quoted above, as she did not mention making up the time, and because the one who travelled with him was the only one to undergo the hardships of travel. 
Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘, 5/201 
To sum up: 
When your husband comes back from his trip, he has to make up the rest of your three nights, and thus he will attain the justice that Allah has required of him. He does not have to start dividing his time anew, because he still owes you some time that he has to make up for you. 
And Allah knows best.
Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are asked if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is necessary to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad human action to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the enquiry remains the exact same that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Lord All these response exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our responsibility. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

He has two wives and he does not allow one of them go out or to receive visits from her family except with his permission

Is permissable for a man who has two wives to request from the first one to seek his permission everytime she leaves the house and when someone is coming to the house even if it were one of her family member and not request it from the second wife?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: 
One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not go out of his house except with his permission or let anyone into his house except with his permission. 
The evidence for the former is the report narrated in al-Saheehayn about the slander incident (al-ifk), in which ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): “Will you give me permission to go to my parents?” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4141; Muslim, 2770. 
Al-Iraqi said in Tarh al-Tathreeb (8/58): Her saying, “Will you give me permission to go to my parents?” indicates that the wife should not go to her parents’ house except with the permission of her husband. End quote. 
See also question no. 87834 
The evidence for the latter is the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): “No woman should fast when her husband is present without his permission, and she should not allow anyone to enter his house when he is present without his permission.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026. 
The correct view is that the husband does not have the right to prevent his wife’s parents from visiting her unless he thinks it most likely that their visit will result in trouble and harm. See question no. 112048. 
Secondly: 
It is not obligatory to treat co-wives the same with regard to what is mentioned above. In the case of one of them going out of his house without his permission there may be the possibility of harm or trouble or temptation, or he may be very protectively jealous for her, or there may be other reasons that make the man resort to such a thing, so he makes her ask permission before going out, but he does not require that of the other wife. The same may be said concerning the issue of visits. 
What matters is that the husband should not seek thereby to harm his wife or hurt her and make things difficult for her, because that is contrary to the good treatment that he is enjoined to give her. 
And Allah knows best.

A Woman Does not Act as a Mahram for Another Woman

Can a woman be considered a mahram for a woman she is not related to for purposes of traveling or sitting with others?

Praise be to Allaah.
A woman cannot be a mahram for another. The one who is considered mahram is a man that a woman
cannot marry due to blood relations, such as her father and her brother, or a man related to her due to marriage, such as
her husband, her father-in-law and her step-son, or a man related due to breast feeding, such as her father from breast
feeding and so forth.
It is not allowed for a man to be in private with a woman he is not related to nor can he travel with her. The Prophet
(peace be upon him) said,
"A woman does not travel except with a mahram."
This was recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim. The Prophet (peace be upon him)
also said,
"A man is never alone with a woman except that Satan is the third."
This was recorded by Imam Ahmad and others from the hadith of Umar with a sahih chain.

A woman marrying her father’s maternal uncle

Is it permissible for a girl to marry her father’s maternal uncle?.

Praise be to Allaah.  
It is not permissible for a girl to marry her father’s maternal uncle, because her father’s maternal uncle is also her maternal uncle, so he is a mahram. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 
The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) have stated that the paternal uncle of a father is also the paternal uncle of his son, and the maternal uncle of a father is also the maternal uncle of his son. 
And Allaah knows best, 
See al-Muqni’ wa’l-Insaaf wa’l-Sharh al-Kabeer (ed. By al-Turki), 20/277.

Is the wife’s sister considered to be a mahram?

Is the wife’s sister considered to be a mahram?.

Praise be to Allaah.    
The wife’s sister is considered to be a “stranger” (non-mahram) to her sister’s husband, so it is not permissible for him to look at her, or be alone with her, or to shake hands with her. Some people think that because she is forbidden in marriage to the husband that it is permissible to look at her and be alone with her and shake hands with her, but this is wrong. What is meant by forbidden in marriage here is that it is not permissible for a man to be married to a woman and her sister at the same time; similarly it is forbidden to be married to a woman and her paternal aunt or a woman and her maternal aunt at the same time. The prohibition on being married to a woman and her sister at the same time is mentioned in the Qur’aan. Allaah has stated that among the women who are forbidden in marriage, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“and two sisters in wedlock at the same time”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 
And it is stated in the saheeh Sunnah that it is forbidden to be married to a woman and her paternal aunt at the same time, or to be married to a woman and her maternal aunt at the same time.  Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4821; Muslim, 1408. 
So what is forbidden is to be married to two sisters at the same time, and the wife’s sister is not forbidden to the husband for marriage in a permanent sense. 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about a woman who lives with her married sister and does not wear hijab in front of her sister’s husband. She says that she is temporarily a mahram (forbidden in marriage) to him. What is your response to that? 
He replied: 
This woman is confused. It is not permissible for her sister’s husband to marry her so long as her sister is with him, so she is forbidden in marriage to him for a certain period, not permanently. But her understanding is mistaken because those who are forbidden in marriage for a certain period are not mahrams. 
The mahrams are those to whom marriage is permanently forbidden either because of blood ties or for a permissible reason, namely ties of marriage or ties created through breastfeeding. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed; indeed it was shameful and most hateful, and an evil way.
23. Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster mothers who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters, your wives’ mothers, your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), — the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed; verily, Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Nisa’ 4:22-23] 
Allaah did not say, “And the sisters of your wives.” What is forbidden is to be married to two sisters at the same time. 
Based on this, we say to the sister of the questioner, who says that her sister speaks to her sister’s husband and does not wear hijab in front of him, and says that they are temporary mahrams, that this is a mistaken notion and is not correct. This is not the matter of being temporary mahrams, because what is forbidden is to be married to two sisters at the same time, as Allaah says: “and two sisters in wedlock at the same time”. The case of the wife’s sister is not as the questioner understands it.

His relative is in jail and he sits with his wife and children in order to look after them

I have a distant relative who is in jail, and I am taking care of his family’s needs such as teaching his children, buying what they need for the house and advising my relative’s family. I sit with them without a mahram, but I show them all respect in a spirit of Islamic brotherhood. She (the wife) covers her head and shows her face and hands. What has made me do that is the fact that her mahrams do not care about her or her situation. I want to know my position according to sharee’ah. Is what I am doing halaal or haraam? Please note that what I am doing is for the sake of Allaah and because I am aware of my duty towards my absent relative.

Praise be to Allaah.  
What you are doing for the family of your absent relative is good and is to be appreciated, because taking care of the weak by meeting their needs is a righteous deed. But it is not permissible for you to be alone with the wife, because she is a stranger (non-mahram) to you, and it is not permissible for her to uncover her face in front of you, because you are not one of her mahrams.

Uncles of one’s parents are mahrams

Can a woman uncover in front of her father's mother's brother?.

Praise be to Allaah.  
The brother of your grandmother on your father’s side is the maternal uncle of your father, and a man’s maternal uncle is regarded as a maternal uncle for all his descendants. Based on that, your father’s maternal uncle is a maternal uncle for you, so he is one of your mahrams and you do not have to observe hijab in front of him. Rather it is permissible for you to uncover in front of him that which is usually uncovered in front of mahrams. 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: 
Note that a person’s maternal or paternal aunt is a maternal or paternal aunt for him and for all those who are descended from him. So your father’s paternal aunt is a paternal aunt for you, and your father’s maternal aunt is a maternal aunt for you; your mother’s paternal aunt is a paternal aunt for you and your mother’s maternal aunt is a maternal aunt for you. Similarly the paternal aunts of your grandfathers and grandmothers are paternal aunts for you, and the maternal aunts of your grandfathers and grandmothers are maternal aunts for you. 
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/131 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was also asked: 
Is it permissible for a woman to uncover in front of her mother’s paternal or maternal uncle, or her father’s paternal or maternal uncle – in other words are these persons counted as mahrams? 
He replied: Yes, if a woman’s mother or father has a paternal uncle who is her father’s full brother or half brother through either his father or his mother, or she has a maternal uncle, then he is one of her mahrams, because your father’s paternal uncle is a paternal uncle for you, and your father’s maternal uncle is a maternal uncle for you. Similarly your mother’s paternal uncle or maternal uncle are uncles for you through ties of blood. 
Al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/596 
And Allaah knows best.

Is the wife of one’s son through breastfeeding a mahram?

I have a son through breastfeeding who was breastfed by my wife. Am I a mahram for his wife?.

Praise be to Allaah.    
The wife of a son of one’s loins is a mahram to his father, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are… the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 
If a man has a son who is married to a woman, his father becomes a mahram to her, and he may travel with her, be alone with her, look at her face, and so on. With regard to his son through breastfeeding, most of the scholars are of the view that he is like a son from his own loins, but Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah rejected that and said: Breastfeeding does not affect the in-law relationship; the wife of a son through breastfeeding is a non-mahram to the father, so she should not uncover in front of him and she should not be alone with him and he may not travel with her, because she is a stranger (non-mahram) to him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are… the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What becomes mahram (forbidden for marriage) through breastfeeding is that which become mahram through blood ties.”
A son’s wife is not a mahram to his father because of blood ties but rather through marriage. There is no blood tie between his father and her, rather she is his mahram through marriage. This is the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and this is what I think is correct.

The husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife

Is it permissible for my wife to shake hands with my father?.

Praise be to Allaah.  
Yes, that is permissible, because when a man makes a marriage contract with a woman, his father becomes a mahram for her, as does his son from another wife. And her mother becomes a mahram for him, as does her daughter from another husband. 
This is called a mahram by marriage. 
The evidence that the husband’s father is a mahram for the son’s wife is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning): 
“the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 
So the wife of the son is a mahram for her husband’s father. 
The evidence that the husband’s son is a mahram for his father’s wife is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed”
[al-Nisa’ 4:22] 
The evidence that the wife’s mother is a mahram for her daughter’s husband is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning): 
“…your wives’ mothers”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 
These three (the husband’s father, his son and the wife’s mother) become mahrams as soon as the marriage contract is done, and that is not subject to the condition that the marriage be consummated. 
With regard to the wife’s daughter, she does not become a mahram for her mother’s husband unless he has consummated the marriage with her mother, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“ and your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters),”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 
The stepdaughter (rabeebah) is the daughter of one's wife. 
See al-Mughni, 9/514, 524. 
In conclusion: the husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife, so he may shake hands with her and be alone with her and travel with her. See questions no :  5538 , 20750
And Allaah knows best.

Friday 20 January 2012

Is it permissible for the spouses to be naked when having intercourse without any cover?

I was told by Islamic teacher that "janaba" or intimacy of spouses is not permitted if uncovered by sheet or blanket, because angels who are present are ashamed and insulted by naked bodies of spouses in state of janaba. So spouses must cover their bodies with blanket during intimacy and must not uncover naked bodies. I am really confused, because I know ahadeeth which are opposite of it. I would appreciate if you solve this misunderstanding.

Praise be to Allaah.
Prohibition (tahreem) is an Islamic ruling which cannot be attributed to sharee'ah without sound shar'i evidence that is proven from the Book of Allaah or the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The majority of Hanafi, Shaafa'i and Maaliki scholars are of the view that it is permissible for the spouses to be naked when having intercourse. The Hanbalis are of the view that it is makrooh to be naked and not covered when having intercourse, and they quote ahaadeeth as evidence for that, but none of them are sound, for example: 
1 – It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When one of you goes in unto his wife, let him be covered, for if he is not covered, the angels feel shy and depart, then if they have a child, the Shaytaan will have a share of him." 
This was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Mu'jam al-Awsat (1/63), and by al-Bazzaar who classed it as da'eef (weak), as it says in Nasab al-Raayah, 4/247. 
2 – It was narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn Mas'ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When one of you goes in unto his wife, let him cover and not be naked like donkeys." 
This was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Mu'jam al-Kabeer, 10/196, and by al-Bayhaqi, who classed it as da'eef (weak) (7/193). Its isnaad includes Mandal ibn 'Ali, who is da'eef. 
It was also narrated by Ibn Maajah (1921) from the hadeeth of 'Utbah ibn 'Abd-Allaah al-Sulami, who was classed as da'eef by al-Albaani in Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 2009. 
3 – It was narrated that Abu Umaamah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When one of you goes in unto his wife, let him cover himself and his wife, and not be naked like donkeys." 
This was narrated by al-Tabaraani (8/164). Its isnaad includes 'Afeer ibn Ma'daan who is da'eef, as was stated in Majma' al-Zawaa'id, 4/293. 
As it is established that these ahaadeeth are da'eef (weak), it is not valid to quote them as evidence that it is obligatory to be covered and to say that it is forbidden to be naked when having intercourse. The basic principle is that it is permissible for spouses to enjoy looking at and touching one another. 
The majority of scholars have quoted as evidence that it is permissible the hadeeth of Bahz ibn Hakeem, from his father, from his grandfather, who said: I said, O Messenger of Allaah, with regard to our ‘awrah, what may we uncover of it and what must we conceal? He said: “Cover your ‘awrah except from your wife and those whom your right hand possesses (i.e., concubines).” I said, O Messenger of Allaah, what if the people live close together? He said, “If you can make sure that no one sees it, then do not let anyone see it.” I said, O Messenger of Allaah, what if one of us is alone? He said, “Allaah is more deserving that you should feel shy before Him than people.” 
Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 2794; Ibn Maajah, 1920; Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 
They also quoted as evidence a da'eef hadeeth, narrated from 'Abd-Allaah ibn 'Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Beware of being naked, for you have with you those who never leave you except when you defecate, and when a man goes in unto his wife, so feel shy of them and respect them." 
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2800. Its isnaad includes Layth ibn Abi Sulaym, who made mistakes and was classed as da'eef by al-Albaani in Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 64. 
Conclusion: There is no saheeh hadeeth which says that it is forbidden to be naked when having intercourse with one's spouse, and the basic principle is that that is permitted, and there is proof that supports this basic principle. 
And Allaah knows best.

Her father mistreats her and her mother resents her, and this has affected her relationship with her husband

I got married two years ago. My husband – praise be to Allaah – fears Allaah with regard to the way he treats me, but I have a psychological complex because of a father who did not fear Allaah with regard to me, my siblings and my mother, which created resentment in my heart and in my siblings’ hearts towards him. Even though I have got married and moved away from that horrible life, I cannot help but be upset because of my mother’s and siblings’ suffering. They are still suffering and that affects the way I treat my husband who respects me, but his patience sometimes runs out when he sees me so sad most of the time and he thinks that I like to be miserable. What should I do? Also, my siblings and I cannot respect my father because of the way he has treated us; what should we do to rid ourselves of our resentment towards him? We try to respect him, but he does not respect anyone and he suffers from a complex whereby he hates everyone who is better than him, and he loves to show off and to stand out, i.e., he wants to show people that he owns a great deal even though he does not own anything, rather he is in debt. I hope that you can help me to solve this problem.

Praise be to Allaah.  
Firstly: 
With regard to your father, you have to keep on advising him and reminding him of what Allaah has enjoined upon him with regard to himself and to his family. 
You have to try different methods of advising him. It may be hard for him to hear it from you, but do not despair of reminders and exhortations reaching him by way of your relatives or his friends. You could also let him listen to some useful tapes. 
Secondly: 
You have to fear Allaah with regard to your husband. You should not bring the worries of your family into your husband’s house and place them on his shoulders, especially since he treats you well and you do not see anything from him that upsets you. What you have to do is to appreciate him and treat him kindly. This is what Allaah commands you to do. 
Thirdly: 
No one is free of diseases – except those on whom Allaah has mercy. The fact that your father likes to show off and to appear to be better than others means that you have to be compassionate towards him, not resent him. The fact that he has treated you badly and is still doing so means that you should show mercy towards him, for if he dies and meets his Lord in that state, then he will meet Him with many sins. 
Hence you and your siblings and family have to look again at your relationship with your father and your attitude towards him, for Allaah has commanded us to treat parents well and honour them, even if they call us to shirk and kufr. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”
[Luqmaan 31:15] 
Ibraaheem (peace be upon him) debated with his mushrik father politely, as Allaah tells us (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And mention in the Book (the Qur’aan) Ibraaheem (Abraham). Verily, he was a man of truth, a Prophet.
42. When he said to his father: ‘O my father! Why do you worship that which hears not, sees not and cannot avail you in anything?
43. ‘O my father! Verily, there has come to me of the knowledge that which came not unto you. So follow me, I will guide you to the Straight Path.
44. ‘O my father! Worship not Shaytaan (Satan). Verily, Shaytaan (Satan) has been a rebel against the Most Gracious (Allaah).
45. ‘O my father! Verily, I fear lest a torment from the Most Gracious (Allaah) should overtake you, so that you become a companion of Shaytaan (Satan) (in the Hell-fire).’
46. He (the father) said: ‘Do you reject my gods, O Ibraaheem (Abraham)? If you stop not (this), I will indeed stone you. So get away from me safely (before I punish you).’
47. Ibraaheem (Abraham) said: ‘Peace be on you! I will ask forgiveness of my Lord for you. Verily, He is unto me Ever Most Gracious’”
[Maryam 19:41-47] 
Look at the etiquette of this Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and how he addressed his mushrik father who was threatening his Muslim son. In this there is a great lesson for those who suffer a similar problem with their fathers. 
Fourthly: 
With regard to the grief that you feel, it should not make you stop doing things or prevent you from doing acts of worship, or make you fall short in doing that which Allaah has enjoined upon you, such as the duties that Allaah has enjoined upon you towards your husband, or the duty to call your father to Allaah. 
We advise you to recite a du’aa’ for protection, and another for healing. 
The du’aa’ for protection is as follows: 
It was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hammi wa’l-hazani wa’l’ajzi wa’l-kasali wa’l-jubni wa’l-bukhli wa dala’ il-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from worry, grief, incapacity, laziness, cowardice, miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overcome by men).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6008.  
The du’aa’ for healing is as follows: 
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person who is afflicted by anxiety or sorrow says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibn ammatika naasiyati bi yadika maadin fiyya hukmuka ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw asta’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’a qalbi wa nooar sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You with which You have named Yourself, or, or You have taught to any of Your creation, or You have revealed in Your Book, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heat and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’, then Allaah will take away his anxiety and sorrow, and will replace it with joy.” 
It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we not learn it?” He said: “Yes, whoever hears it should learn it.” 
Narrated by Ahmad, 3704; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199. 
And Allaah knows best.

He wants to give his wife a gift on the anniversary of their marriage each year

Is it permissible for me to give a gift to my wife on the anniversary of our wedding each year?.

Praise be to Allaah.  
If the husband wants to give his wife a gift, he should give it at any time or on any appropriate occasion or when there is a reason for doing so. He should not wait for the anniversary of their wedding to give her a gift, because that implies that he is taking this day as an “Eid” (an occasion that is celebrated regularly), and there are no annual Eids for the Muslims except Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. These occasions – wedding anniversaries – came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, and the salaf (early generations) of this ummah and its imams, but there is no report that they used to give gifts to their wives on these days. And all goodness is to be found in following them. 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: is it permissible for the husband to give a gift to his wife on their wedding anniversary each year, as a renewal of the love between them, noting that this anniversary will be marked only by the giving of this gift and that the couple are not going to celebrate this occasion? 
He said: 
What I think is that this should not be done, because this year it may be just a gift, but next year it may become a celebration. Moreover, marking this occasion with a gift is regarded as making it an ‘Eid’, because the Eid is that which is repeated. Love does not need to be renewed every year, rather it should be renewed all the time, every time the woman sees something of her husband that makes her happy, and every time the man sees something of his wife that makes him happy, then the love between them will be renewed.  
Fataawa al-‘Ulama’ fi ‘Ushrat al-Nisa’, p. 162.

If there are ongoing arguments and disputes with the husband, is divorce required?

Is it better for a woman who has been married for almost 5 years and have 3 children to bear with these problems or separate well the problems are as follows im often misunderstood by my husband he calls it talking back and disobedience al-hamdulillah i have a all knowing and just lord its still some way somehow by the end of the conversation ive fallen very weak and say things that a mutaquee wouldn’t say or him and it always or 80% of the time appear to be the bad person and I really feel like I might often be cursed by the angels at night and on the other hand I feel like if its not my fault and I say sorry anyway and seek asstagfir then im ok but u can never be to sure I just feel like im sinng and he said i complain a lot wallahi i can go on for hours with what my husband put me through but im going to try to focus on me well I feel like he exaggerate he say I want to be the man so ill say well we know that’s not good cause u want ur dua answered so why don’t we separate like the ayat say and if u fear that u can not meet the set ordainments by Allah then separate so there most of it im really confused all though most of the time im unhappy and so is he, I feel like he’s not being honest with himself cause if I were disobedient complainer want to imitate the man then why would he still be married to me please please please give me some advise I don’t want to keep upsetting Allah or him he do say I drive him crazy he say I want to argue everyday im so scared oh Allah forgive us all 4 our sins aameen.

Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has enjoined marriage, blessed man with it and made it one of His signs. He tells us that one of the greatest wisdoms behind marriage is to create tranquillity, love and compassion between the spouses. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy”
[al-Room 30:21]. 
The purpose of marriage that Allaah intended cannot be achieved unless the spouses treat one another kindly, which means that each of them should do his or her duty towards the other. 
The wife should obey her husband on a reasonable basis, and allow him to do what Allaah has permitted of physical enjoyment, and stay in her house and not go out except with his permission. She has the right that her husband should clothe her, spend on her and provide accommodation for her on a reasonable basis, and she is entitled to kind treatment from him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and live with them honourably” [al-Nisa’ 4:19].  
Our advice to the husband, first of all, is to do his duty towards his wife. If he sees some shortcoming in her in some aspect, then there may be some other aspect in her that calls him to stay with her and not divorce her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.” Narrated by Muslim (1469) from Abu Hurayrah. 
We think that the husband has done that, and that despite what he finds in his wife he should put up with her harm, and perhaps this is what the sister is surprised at, that the husband divorce her. Because the husband, by his wisdom and reason, can see that there is the possibility of correcting and changing his wife, and he is aware that the harm that would result from the break-up of the family and loss of his children through divorce is greater than the harm that results from arguments and her showing disrespect to him.  
Our advice to the wife is to fear Allaah with regard to her husband and remember that he is her Paradise and her Hell. She may enter Paradise because of him or she may enter Hell. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Look at how you are with him – the husband – because he is your Paradise and your Hell.” Narrated by Ahmad (18524); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (220). Allaah has enjoined her to obey him on a reasonable basis, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told women of the great rights that the husband has over the wife, and that if he were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone, he would have ordered the wife to prostrate to the husband, as was narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1159) from Abu Hurayrah and classed as saheeh. 
The wise woman does that which Allaah has enjoined upon her, and she does not transgress the limits set by Allaah. Transgression of the wife against the husband includes reviling him and arguing with him a great deal. If they have children, then it is more sinful, because her reviling him makes the children dare to disobey their father, and he loses respect in their eyes, and this has a negative impact on their upbringing. 
If you know that you can set right the mistakes that you have made, then you must hasten to do that, by seeking forgiveness, repenting, regretting it and resolving not to do such things again. You must also ask your husband for forgiveness and obey him and treat him kindly. Thus you will earn the pleasure of Allaah and the pleasure of your husband, and you will raise your children well. This is the domestic bliss that many people miss out on, which slips through their fingers, but they are careless or too arrogant to set things straight. 
If you think that you are not able to set things straight or have no intention of doing so, then we advice you to separate and ask your husband for khula’, and you have to give him whatever you agree upon of the mahr, or more or less than that, so that he will divorce you. This is better for you than persisting in disobedience and increasing your burden of sin.  
Strive – may Allaah bless you – to set things straight in your home, make your husband happy and bring your children up well. Strive to stay with him, adopt a good attitude and refrain from everything that will make him think badly of you and cause division between you and your husband. We can sense from your words that you feel sorry about things that you have done that are contrary to sharee’ah. This is good but it needs to be strengthened. Strive to say du’aa’s at times when du’aa’s are answered, asking Allaah to purify your heart and actions, and to bless you with a good attitude. Do not hesitate to admit your mistakes to your husband and work out an agreement with him to set things straight between you. Refrain from arguing and reviling, and strive to be a good companion. We advise you to do ‘Umrah together, and to have a program to strengthen your faith and increase the bonds between you, such as fasting, reading Qur’aan and listening to useful tapes. 
We ask Allaah to guide you to that which is best in this world and the Hereafter. 
And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then start to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was railed and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are asked if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity core of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we carry on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the ability of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is needed to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the interrogation remains the identical that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Lord All these reply exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch