He wants to give his wife a gift on the anniversary of their marriage each year

Is it permissible for me to give a gift to my wife on the anniversary of our wedding each year?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

If the husband wants to give his wife a gift, he should give it at any time or on any appropriate occasion or when there is a reason for doing so. He should not wait for the anniversary of their wedding to give her a gift, because that implies that he is taking this day as an “Eid” (an occasion that is celebrated regularly), and there are no annual Eids for the Muslims except Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. These occasions – wedding anniversaries – came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, and the salaf (early generations) of this ummah and its imams, but there is no report that they used to give gifts to their wives on these days. And all goodness is to be found in following them. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: is it permissible for the husband to give a gift to his wife on their wedding anniversary each year, as a renewal of the love between them, noting that this anniversary will be marked only by the giving of this gift and that the couple are not going to celebrate this occasion? 

He said: 

What I think is that this should not be done, because this year it may be just a gift, but next year it may become a celebration. Moreover, marking this occasion with a gift is regarded as making it an ‘Eid’, because the Eid is that which is repeated. Love does not need to be renewed every year, rather it should be renewed all the time, every time the woman sees something of her husband that makes her happy, and every time the man sees something of his wife that makes him happy, then the love between them will be renewed.  

Fataawa al-‘Ulama’ fi ‘Ushrat al-Nisa’, p. 162.

If there are ongoing arguments and disputes with the husband, is divorce required?

Is it better for a woman who has been married for almost 5 years and have 3 children to bear with these problems or separate well the problems are as follows im often misunderstood by my husband he calls it talking back and disobedience al-hamdulillah i have a all knowing and just lord its still some way somehow by the end of the conversation ive fallen very weak and say things that a mutaquee wouldn’t say or him and it always or 80% of the time appear to be the bad person and I really feel like I might often be cursed by the angels at night and on the other hand I feel like if its not my fault and I say sorry anyway and seek asstagfir then im ok but u can never be to sure I just feel like im sinng and he said i complain a lot wallahi i can go on for hours with what my husband put me through but im going to try to focus on me well I feel like he exaggerate he say I want to be the man so ill say well we know that’s not good cause u want ur dua answered so why don’t we separate like the ayat say and if u fear that u can not meet the set ordainments by Allah then separate so there most of it im really confused all though most of the time im unhappy and so is he, I feel like he’s not being honest with himself cause if I were disobedient complainer want to imitate the man then why would he still be married to me please please please give me some advise I don’t want to keep upsetting Allah or him he do say I drive him crazy he say I want to argue everyday im so scared oh Allah forgive us all 4 our sins aameen.

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah has enjoined marriage, blessed man with it and made it one of His signs. He tells us that one of the greatest wisdoms behind marriage is to create tranquillity, love and compassion between the spouses. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy”

[al-Room 30:21]. 

The purpose of marriage that Allaah intended cannot be achieved unless the spouses treat one another kindly, which means that each of them should do his or her duty towards the other. 

The wife should obey her husband on a reasonable basis, and allow him to do what Allaah has permitted of physical enjoyment, and stay in her house and not go out except with his permission. She has the right that her husband should clothe her, spend on her and provide accommodation for her on a reasonable basis, and she is entitled to kind treatment from him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and live with them honourably” [al-Nisa’ 4:19].  

Our advice to the husband, first of all, is to do his duty towards his wife. If he sees some shortcoming in her in some aspect, then there may be some other aspect in her that calls him to stay with her and not divorce her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.” Narrated by Muslim (1469) from Abu Hurayrah. 

We think that the husband has done that, and that despite what he finds in his wife he should put up with her harm, and perhaps this is what the sister is surprised at, that the husband divorce her. Because the husband, by his wisdom and reason, can see that there is the possibility of correcting and changing his wife, and he is aware that the harm that would result from the break-up of the family and loss of his children through divorce is greater than the harm that results from arguments and her showing disrespect to him.  

Our advice to the wife is to fear Allaah with regard to her husband and remember that he is her Paradise and her Hell. She may enter Paradise because of him or she may enter Hell. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Look at how you are with him – the husband – because he is your Paradise and your Hell.” Narrated by Ahmad (18524); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (220). Allaah has enjoined her to obey him on a reasonable basis, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told women of the great rights that the husband has over the wife, and that if he were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone, he would have ordered the wife to prostrate to the husband, as was narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1159) from Abu Hurayrah and classed as saheeh. 

The wise woman does that which Allaah has enjoined upon her, and she does not transgress the limits set by Allaah. Transgression of the wife against the husband includes reviling him and arguing with him a great deal. If they have children, then it is more sinful, because her reviling him makes the children dare to disobey their father, and he loses respect in their eyes, and this has a negative impact on their upbringing. 

If you know that you can set right the mistakes that you have made, then you must hasten to do that, by seeking forgiveness, repenting, regretting it and resolving not to do such things again. You must also ask your husband for forgiveness and obey him and treat him kindly. Thus you will earn the pleasure of Allaah and the pleasure of your husband, and you will raise your children well. This is the domestic bliss that many people miss out on, which slips through their fingers, but they are careless or too arrogant to set things straight. 

If you think that you are not able to set things straight or have no intention of doing so, then we advice you to separate and ask your husband for khula’, and you have to give him whatever you agree upon of the mahr, or more or less than that, so that he will divorce you. This is better for you than persisting in disobedience and increasing your burden of sin.  

Strive – may Allaah bless you – to set things straight in your home, make your husband happy and bring your children up well. Strive to stay with him, adopt a good attitude and refrain from everything that will make him think badly of you and cause division between you and your husband. We can sense from your words that you feel sorry about things that you have done that are contrary to sharee’ah. This is good but it needs to be strengthened. Strive to say du’aa’s at times when du’aa’s are answered, asking Allaah to purify your heart and actions, and to bless you with a good attitude. Do not hesitate to admit your mistakes to your husband and work out an agreement with him to set things straight between you. Refrain from arguing and reviling, and strive to be a good companion. We advise you to do ‘Umrah together, and to have a program to strengthen your faith and increase the bonds between you, such as fasting, reading Qur’aan and listening to useful tapes. 

We ask Allaah to guide you to that which is best in this world and the Hereafter. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then start to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was railed and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are asked if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity core of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we carry on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the ability of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is needed to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the interrogation remains the identical that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Lord All these reply exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

The limits within which a married couple may enjoy intimacy with one another, and the ruling on a man suckling from his wife

Is it permissible for a man to suck on his wife’s breasts during intercourse?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

The husband may enjoy intimacy with his wife in whatever way he wishes; the only thing that is forbidden is anal intercourse and intercourse during the wife’s menstrual period or nifaas (post-partum bleeding). Apart from that, he may enjoy his wife in whatever way he wants, such as kissing, touching, looking, etc. 

Even if he sucks on her nipples, this comes under the heading of the intimacy that is permissible, and it cannot be said that the milk has any effect on him, because if an adult breastfeeds, it does not have any effect of making him a mahram. Rather the breastfeeding that has this effect is that which takes place during the first two years of life. 

The scholars of the Standing Committee said: 

It is permissible for a husband to enjoy all of his wife’s body, apart from the back passage and intercourse during the wife’s menstrual period or nifaas (post-partum bleeding), or when in ihraam for Hajj or ‘Umrah, until he has exited ihraam completely. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood. 

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 19/351, 352.  

The scholars of the Standing Committee said:  

It is permissible for the husband to suck his wife’s breasts, and if any milk reaches his stomach it does not have the effect of making him a mahram. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah al-Ghadyaan, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen said: 

Breastfeeding by an adult does not have the effect of making him a mahram, because the breastfeeding that has that effect is five breastfeedings or more within the first two years of life before weaning. Breastfeeding by an adult does not have that effect. Based on this, if we assume that someone breastfed from his wife or drank her milk, he cannot become a son to her. 

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/338. 

With regard to it being permissible to enjoy anything concerning which there is no prohibition, there follow some of the views of the scholars: 

Ibn Qudaamah said: 

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the area between the buttocks without any penetration, because what is forbidden is the back passage, which is mentioned specifically, which is forbidden because of the filth, and that is specific to the back passage, therefore it expressly forbidden.  

Al-Mughni, 7/226. 

Al-Kasaani said: 

Among the saheeh rulings on marriage is that it is permissible to look at and touch every part of her from head to foot when she is alive, because intercourse goes beyond looking and touching, so it is more appropriate that touching and looking should be permitted. 

Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, 2/231 

Ibn ‘Aabideen said: 

Abu Yoosuf asked Abu Haneefah about a man who touches his wife’s private part and she touches his to stimulate arousal – did he see anything wrong with that? He said: No, and I hope that the reward will be greater. 

Radd al-Muhtaar, 6/367. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stated that this is permissible when he forbade intercourse in the vagina with a menstruating woman, but he permitted all other parts of her body. So it is more obvious that it is permissible at times other than menstruation. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The words “He may enjoy everything else of her apart from that” means that the man may enjoy every part of the menstruating woman apart from the vagina. 

It is permissible to enjoy what is above and below the waist wrapper (izaar), but the woman should be wrapped in a waist wrapper, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to tell ‘Aa’ishah to wrap herself in a waist-wrapper when she was menstruating, then he would be intimate with her. He told her to do that lest he saw something that he disliked, namely the menstrual blood. But if the husband wants to enjoy the area between the thighs, for example, there is nothing wrong with that. 

If it is said: What do you say about the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he was asked what part of his wife is permissible for a man when she is menstruating and he said, “You have that which is above the waist-wrapper” and this indicates that one may only enjoy that which is above the waist-wrapper?  

The answer is as follows: 

1 – That is in order to be on the safe side and to avoid that which is forbidden.

2 – It may vary according to circumstances. The words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Do everything apart from intercourse” may be taken as being addressed to one who can control himself, and the words, “You have that which is above the waist-wrapper” may be taken as being addressed to one who cannot control himself, either because his religious commitment is too weak or his desire is too strong. 

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 1/417. 

And Allaah knows best.

The first wife’s approval is not a condition for marrying a second wife

My question is if you would help me to know the Hadith or the point of vieuw from the Islamic law on the follwing situation.
If a woman is married to a man and that this man is also married to an other woman without her, the last, knows about this marriage.
No need to say that this is a difficult and very exceptional situation but seems the best concerning the circumstances?

Praise be to Allaah.  

The wife’s approval is not a condition for plural marriage, and it is not obligatory for the husband to have the approval of his first wife if he wants to marry a second wife. But it is good manners and kind treatment to approach the issue in such a way as to reduce the pain which women naturally feel in such cases, by smiling at her, greeting her warmly, speaking nicely to her and spending money on her according to his means, in order to gain her approval. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/204. 

If a husband takes a second wife, he has to treat his wives equally as far as possible. If he does not treat them equally then he is exposing himself to a stern warning, for it was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and inclines more towards one of them than the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” (narrated by al-Nisaa’i, ‘Ushrat al-Nisaa’, 3881; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Nasaa’i, no. 3682). 

When Allaah permitted us to marry more than one woman, He said (interpretation of the meaning): 

“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”[al-Nisaa’ 4:3] 

So Allaah commands that a man should restrict himself to one wife, if he knows that he cannot be just. And Allaah is the source of strength. 

See Fataawa Manaar al-Islam, 2/570

Ruling on intercourse in the bathroom

Is it permissible for a man to have intercourse with his wife without a cover? Is it permissible to have intercourse in the bathroom?

Praise be to Allaah.  

Yes, it is permissible for a man to have intercourse with his wife without a cover, and it is also permissible to have intercourse in the bathroom, but that means that he will be going against the Sunnah by not mentioning Allaah beforehand. Perhaps you know that the Sunnah, when a man wants to have intercourse with his wife, is to say, “Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaana wa jannib al-Shaytaana ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, keep the Shaytaan away from us and keep the Shaytaan away from that with which You may bless us).” Perhaps you also know that it is not right to mention the name of Allaah in places where you relieve yourself, so how can the one who has intercourse in the bathroom recite this dhikr? Unless he is going to go out, recite this dhikr and then go back in.

Husband asking his wife how she disposed of the mahr

Does the husband have the right to question his wife and ask her how she spent the mahr that belongs to her? My husband is asking about every part of my mahr, great and small, because he divided the mahr into two parts, one part for me and the other to prepare for marriage and buy clothes.

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is not permissible for a husband to question his wife about the mahr which he gave to her, because this is her right and a debt on him which he has to give to her. 

In return for this small amount of money which Allaah has granted to the woman, the right of qiwaamah (being in charge, being the protector and maintainer) is taken from her and given to her husband. So his spending on her is in return for something very precious and the mahr and spending on her is in return for that qiwaamah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34] 

Imam al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

“Men are the ones who are in charge of their womenfolk, disciplining them and making them fulfil their obligations towards Allaah and towards themselves. ‘Because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other’ means, because Allaah has given men an advantage over their wives because of the mahr which they give to them, and because they spend on them from their own money, and they take care of them. This is the way in which Allaah has caused them to excel them. Hence they are in charge of them and women are expected to obey their husbands. 

Tafseer al-Tabari, 5/57 

So the mahr is the woman’s right, just as qiwaamah is the man’s right. Just as she should not disobey him because of that qiwaamah, so he should give her her rights. 

Men must fear Allaah with regard to their wives’ mahr and give them their mahrs. For women are weak, so men should give them their rights. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations”

[al-Maa'idah 5:1] 

And indeed the marriage contract is one of the most important contracts which the Muslims are obliged to fulfil. 

It was narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The conditions which most deserve to be fulfilled are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible to you.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2520; Muslim, 2542) 

So long as a woman has taken possession of this money in this manner, her husband has no right to force her to spend it in a particular way, unless she is spending it on something haraam, in which case he has the right to stop her from spending it in haraam ways. 

Our advice to you is to deal with your husband gently and calmly when he questions you about the mahr, lest a dispute concerning this matter be the cause of letting the Shaytaan come between you, especially when you are at the beginning of your married life, which should be based on harmony and tolerance on both sides towards any shortcomings or transgressions on the other side.  We ask Allaah to decree for you a happy life filled with obedience to Allaah and following his laws. And Allaah knows best.

Is it permissible for him to have intercourse with his wife in the bathroom?

What is the ruling on a man having intercourse with his wife in the bathroom? Some people take a bath with their wives and may become aroused. What is the answer?

Praise be to Allaah.  

My brother, may Allaah help you to do that which is good and make you satisfied with that which He has permitted you so that you will have no need of that which He has forbidden. What you have mentioned in your question may be answered by noting the following : 

1 – The modern kinds of washrooms in modern houses such as those in your country differ greatly from the places used in the past for relieving oneself, which were places where dirt, filth and impurities collected. Modern washrooms are not like that, rather they can be kept clean and there is no impurity in them. Therefore they are not like the places that people used for relieving themselves in the past, and there are obvious differences between them. On this basis there is no real reason why one should not fulfil one's sexual desire in such places when necessary, in the manner that you mentioned.

 2 – A man’s fulfilling his sexual desire with his wife may often happen as the result of stimulation, by looking or touching etc. Hence fulfilling his desire when it is provoked in such situations is a means of keeping himself chaste and lowering his gaze [from looking at other women]. This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught us to do, according to the hadeeth narrated by Muslim (1403) from Jaabir, who says that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a woman and he came to his wife Zaynab, whilst she was tanning a skin and preparing it for dyeing, and he fulfilled his need. Then he went out to his companions and said: “Woman comes and goes in the shape of a devil [i.e., she causes temptation], so if any one of you sees a woman, let him go and have intercourse with his wife, for that will take away what he feels in his heart.” This was also narrated by Ahmad, 19403; Ibn Maajah, 1853. Ibn Hibbaan narrated in his Saheeh, 4171, that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘No woman fulfils all her duties towards Allaah until she fulfils all her duties towards her husband. If he asks her [for his conjugal rights] even when she is on the back of a camel, she should respond to him.’” 

3 – At the same time, the Muslim should not forget, when his desire is provoked, to bear in mind the intention of keeping chaste and of enjoying that which is good and permissible. Then doing that will be an act of charity and righteousness on his part, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “In the intimacy of any one of you there is charity.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, if any one of us fulfils his desire will there be reward for him in that?” He said, “Do you not see that if he does it in a haraam way, that will be a sin on him? So if he does it in a halaal way, he will be rewarded for that.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1006, from the hadeeth of Abu Dharr). A man should also recite the du’aa’ that was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for this situation. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When any one of you wants to have intercourse with his wife, let him say: ‘Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaana wa jannib al-Shaytaana ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, keep the Shaytaan away from us and from that with which You may bless us)’, then if it is decreed that they should have a child from that, the Shaytaan will never be able to harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6388; Muslim, 1434, from the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas).

 May Allaah grant you strength and bless you.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then start to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all is necessary to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the enquiry remains the identical that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any God Almighty All these response exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch