His relative is in jail and he sits with his wife and children in order to look after them

I have a distant relative who is in jail, and I am taking care of his family’s needs such as teaching his children, buying what they need for the house and advising my relative’s family. I sit with them without a mahram, but I show them all respect in a spirit of Islamic brotherhood. She (the wife) covers her head and shows her face and hands. What has made me do that is the fact that her mahrams do not care about her or her situation. I want to know my position according to sharee’ah. Is what I am doing halaal or haraam? Please note that what I am doing is for the sake of Allaah and because I am aware of my duty towards my absent relative.

Praise be to Allaah.  

What you are doing for the family of your absent relative is good and is to be appreciated, because taking care of the weak by meeting their needs is a righteous deed. But it is not permissible for you to be alone with the wife, because she is a stranger (non-mahram) to you, and it is not permissible for her to uncover her face in front of you, because you are not one of her mahrams.

Uncles of one’s parents are mahrams

Can a woman uncover in front of her father's mother's brother?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

The brother of your grandmother on your father’s side is the maternal uncle of your father, and a man’s maternal uncle is regarded as a maternal uncle for all his descendants. Based on that, your father’s maternal uncle is a maternal uncle for you, so he is one of your mahrams and you do not have to observe hijab in front of him. Rather it is permissible for you to uncover in front of him that which is usually uncovered in front of mahrams. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: 

Note that a person’s maternal or paternal aunt is a maternal or paternal aunt for him and for all those who are descended from him. So your father’s paternal aunt is a paternal aunt for you, and your father’s maternal aunt is a maternal aunt for you; your mother’s paternal aunt is a paternal aunt for you and your mother’s maternal aunt is a maternal aunt for you. Similarly the paternal aunts of your grandfathers and grandmothers are paternal aunts for you, and the maternal aunts of your grandfathers and grandmothers are maternal aunts for you. 

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/131 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was also asked: 

Is it permissible for a woman to uncover in front of her mother’s paternal or maternal uncle, or her father’s paternal or maternal uncle – in other words are these persons counted as mahrams? 

He replied: Yes, if a woman’s mother or father has a paternal uncle who is her father’s full brother or half brother through either his father or his mother, or she has a maternal uncle, then he is one of her mahrams, because your father’s paternal uncle is a paternal uncle for you, and your father’s maternal uncle is a maternal uncle for you. Similarly your mother’s paternal uncle or maternal uncle are uncles for you through ties of blood. 

Al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/596 

And Allaah knows best.

Is the wife of one’s son through breastfeeding a mahram?

I have a son through breastfeeding who was breastfed by my wife. Am I a mahram for his wife?.

Praise be to Allaah.    

The wife of a son of one’s loins is a mahram to his father, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are… the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 

If a man has a son who is married to a woman, his father becomes a mahram to her, and he may travel with her, be alone with her, look at her face, and so on. With regard to his son through breastfeeding, most of the scholars are of the view that he is like a son from his own loins, but Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah rejected that and said: Breastfeeding does not affect the in-law relationship; the wife of a son through breastfeeding is a non-mahram to the father, so she should not uncover in front of him and she should not be alone with him and he may not travel with her, because she is a stranger (non-mahram) to him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are… the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What becomes mahram (forbidden for marriage) through breastfeeding is that which become mahram through blood ties.”

A son’s wife is not a mahram to his father because of blood ties but rather through marriage. There is no blood tie between his father and her, rather she is his mahram through marriage. This is the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and this is what I think is correct.

The husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife

Is it permissible for my wife to shake hands with my father?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Yes, that is permissible, because when a man makes a marriage contract with a woman, his father becomes a mahram for her, as does his son from another wife. And her mother becomes a mahram for him, as does her daughter from another husband. 

This is called a mahram by marriage. 

The evidence that the husband’s father is a mahram for the son’s wife is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning): 

“the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 

So the wife of the son is a mahram for her husband’s father. 

The evidence that the husband’s son is a mahram for his father’s wife is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed”

[al-Nisa’ 4:22] 

The evidence that the wife’s mother is a mahram for her daughter’s husband is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning): 

“…your wives’ mothers”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 

These three (the husband’s father, his son and the wife’s mother) become mahrams as soon as the marriage contract is done, and that is not subject to the condition that the marriage be consummated. 

With regard to the wife’s daughter, she does not become a mahram for her mother’s husband unless he has consummated the marriage with her mother, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“ and your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters),”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 

The stepdaughter (rabeebah) is the daughter of one's wife. 

See al-Mughni, 9/514, 524. 

In conclusion: the husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife, so he may shake hands with her and be alone with her and travel with her. See questions no :  5538 , 20750

And Allaah knows best.

Is it permissible for the spouses to be naked when having intercourse without any cover?

I was told by Islamic teacher that "janaba" or intimacy of spouses is not permitted if uncovered by sheet or blanket, because angels who are present are ashamed and insulted by naked bodies of spouses in state of janaba. So spouses must cover their bodies with blanket during intimacy and must not uncover naked bodies. I am really confused, because I know ahadeeth which are opposite of it. I would appreciate if you solve this misunderstanding.

Praise be to Allaah.

Prohibition (tahreem) is an Islamic ruling which cannot be attributed to sharee'ah without sound shar'i evidence that is proven from the Book of Allaah or the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The majority of Hanafi, Shaafa'i and Maaliki scholars are of the view that it is permissible for the spouses to be naked when having intercourse. The Hanbalis are of the view that it is makrooh to be naked and not covered when having intercourse, and they quote ahaadeeth as evidence for that, but none of them are sound, for example: 

1 – It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When one of you goes in unto his wife, let him be covered, for if he is not covered, the angels feel shy and depart, then if they have a child, the Shaytaan will have a share of him." 

This was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Mu'jam al-Awsat (1/63), and by al-Bazzaar who classed it as da'eef (weak), as it says in Nasab al-Raayah, 4/247. 

2 – It was narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn Mas'ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When one of you goes in unto his wife, let him cover and not be naked like donkeys." 

This was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Mu'jam al-Kabeer, 10/196, and by al-Bayhaqi, who classed it as da'eef (weak) (7/193). Its isnaad includes Mandal ibn 'Ali, who is da'eef. 

It was also narrated by Ibn Maajah (1921) from the hadeeth of 'Utbah ibn 'Abd-Allaah al-Sulami, who was classed as da'eef by al-Albaani in Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 2009. 

3 – It was narrated that Abu Umaamah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When one of you goes in unto his wife, let him cover himself and his wife, and not be naked like donkeys." 

This was narrated by al-Tabaraani (8/164). Its isnaad includes 'Afeer ibn Ma'daan who is da'eef, as was stated in Majma' al-Zawaa'id, 4/293. 

As it is established that these ahaadeeth are da'eef (weak), it is not valid to quote them as evidence that it is obligatory to be covered and to say that it is forbidden to be naked when having intercourse. The basic principle is that it is permissible for spouses to enjoy looking at and touching one another. 

The majority of scholars have quoted as evidence that it is permissible the hadeeth of Bahz ibn Hakeem, from his father, from his grandfather, who said: I said, O Messenger of Allaah, with regard to our ‘awrah, what may we uncover of it and what must we conceal? He said: “Cover your ‘awrah except from your wife and those whom your right hand possesses (i.e., concubines).” I said, O Messenger of Allaah, what if the people live close together? He said, “If you can make sure that no one sees it, then do not let anyone see it.” I said, O Messenger of Allaah, what if one of us is alone? He said, “Allaah is more deserving that you should feel shy before Him than people.” 

Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 2794; Ibn Maajah, 1920; Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

They also quoted as evidence a da'eef hadeeth, narrated from 'Abd-Allaah ibn 'Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Beware of being naked, for you have with you those who never leave you except when you defecate, and when a man goes in unto his wife, so feel shy of them and respect them." 

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2800. Its isnaad includes Layth ibn Abi Sulaym, who made mistakes and was classed as da'eef by al-Albaani in Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 64. 

Conclusion: There is no saheeh hadeeth which says that it is forbidden to be naked when having intercourse with one's spouse, and the basic principle is that that is permitted, and there is proof that supports this basic principle. 

And Allaah knows best.

Her father mistreats her and her mother resents her, and this has affected her relationship with her husband

I got married two years ago. My husband – praise be to Allaah – fears Allaah with regard to the way he treats me, but I have a psychological complex because of a father who did not fear Allaah with regard to me, my siblings and my mother, which created resentment in my heart and in my siblings’ hearts towards him. Even though I have got married and moved away from that horrible life, I cannot help but be upset because of my mother’s and siblings’ suffering. They are still suffering and that affects the way I treat my husband who respects me, but his patience sometimes runs out when he sees me so sad most of the time and he thinks that I like to be miserable. What should I do? Also, my siblings and I cannot respect my father because of the way he has treated us; what should we do to rid ourselves of our resentment towards him? We try to respect him, but he does not respect anyone and he suffers from a complex whereby he hates everyone who is better than him, and he loves to show off and to stand out, i.e., he wants to show people that he owns a great deal even though he does not own anything, rather he is in debt. I hope that you can help me to solve this problem.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

With regard to your father, you have to keep on advising him and reminding him of what Allaah has enjoined upon him with regard to himself and to his family. 

You have to try different methods of advising him. It may be hard for him to hear it from you, but do not despair of reminders and exhortations reaching him by way of your relatives or his friends. You could also let him listen to some useful tapes. 

Secondly: 

You have to fear Allaah with regard to your husband. You should not bring the worries of your family into your husband’s house and place them on his shoulders, especially since he treats you well and you do not see anything from him that upsets you. What you have to do is to appreciate him and treat him kindly. This is what Allaah commands you to do. 

Thirdly: 

No one is free of diseases – except those on whom Allaah has mercy. The fact that your father likes to show off and to appear to be better than others means that you have to be compassionate towards him, not resent him. The fact that he has treated you badly and is still doing so means that you should show mercy towards him, for if he dies and meets his Lord in that state, then he will meet Him with many sins. 

Hence you and your siblings and family have to look again at your relationship with your father and your attitude towards him, for Allaah has commanded us to treat parents well and honour them, even if they call us to shirk and kufr. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”

[Luqmaan 31:15] 

Ibraaheem (peace be upon him) debated with his mushrik father politely, as Allaah tells us (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And mention in the Book (the Qur’aan) Ibraaheem (Abraham). Verily, he was a man of truth, a Prophet.

42. When he said to his father: ‘O my father! Why do you worship that which hears not, sees not and cannot avail you in anything?

43. ‘O my father! Verily, there has come to me of the knowledge that which came not unto you. So follow me, I will guide you to the Straight Path.

44. ‘O my father! Worship not Shaytaan (Satan). Verily, Shaytaan (Satan) has been a rebel against the Most Gracious (Allaah).

45. ‘O my father! Verily, I fear lest a torment from the Most Gracious (Allaah) should overtake you, so that you become a companion of Shaytaan (Satan) (in the Hell-fire).’

46. He (the father) said: ‘Do you reject my gods, O Ibraaheem (Abraham)? If you stop not (this), I will indeed stone you. So get away from me safely (before I punish you).’

47. Ibraaheem (Abraham) said: ‘Peace be on you! I will ask forgiveness of my Lord for you. Verily, He is unto me Ever Most Gracious’”

[Maryam 19:41-47] 

Look at the etiquette of this Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and how he addressed his mushrik father who was threatening his Muslim son. In this there is a great lesson for those who suffer a similar problem with their fathers. 

Fourthly: 

With regard to the grief that you feel, it should not make you stop doing things or prevent you from doing acts of worship, or make you fall short in doing that which Allaah has enjoined upon you, such as the duties that Allaah has enjoined upon you towards your husband, or the duty to call your father to Allaah. 

We advise you to recite a du’aa’ for protection, and another for healing. 

The du’aa’ for protection is as follows: 

It was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hammi wa’l-hazani wa’l’ajzi wa’l-kasali wa’l-jubni wa’l-bukhli wa dala’ il-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from worry, grief, incapacity, laziness, cowardice, miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overcome by men).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6008.  

The du’aa’ for healing is as follows: 

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person who is afflicted by anxiety or sorrow says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibn ammatika naasiyati bi yadika maadin fiyya hukmuka ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw asta’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’a qalbi wa nooar sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You with which You have named Yourself, or, or You have taught to any of Your creation, or You have revealed in Your Book, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heat and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’, then Allaah will take away his anxiety and sorrow, and will replace it with joy.” 

It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we not learn it?” He said: “Yes, whoever hears it should learn it.” 

Narrated by Ahmad, 3704; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199. 

And Allaah knows best.

He wants to give his wife a gift on the anniversary of their marriage each year

Is it permissible for me to give a gift to my wife on the anniversary of our wedding each year?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

If the husband wants to give his wife a gift, he should give it at any time or on any appropriate occasion or when there is a reason for doing so. He should not wait for the anniversary of their wedding to give her a gift, because that implies that he is taking this day as an “Eid” (an occasion that is celebrated regularly), and there are no annual Eids for the Muslims except Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. These occasions – wedding anniversaries – came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, and the salaf (early generations) of this ummah and its imams, but there is no report that they used to give gifts to their wives on these days. And all goodness is to be found in following them. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: is it permissible for the husband to give a gift to his wife on their wedding anniversary each year, as a renewal of the love between them, noting that this anniversary will be marked only by the giving of this gift and that the couple are not going to celebrate this occasion? 

He said: 

What I think is that this should not be done, because this year it may be just a gift, but next year it may become a celebration. Moreover, marking this occasion with a gift is regarded as making it an ‘Eid’, because the Eid is that which is repeated. Love does not need to be renewed every year, rather it should be renewed all the time, every time the woman sees something of her husband that makes her happy, and every time the man sees something of his wife that makes him happy, then the love between them will be renewed.  

Fataawa al-‘Ulama’ fi ‘Ushrat al-Nisa’, p. 162.